Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
