There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
