saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
