oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
