Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
it glows. i had to have it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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