I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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