I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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