that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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