I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Everything about him screamed your future.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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