yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Swine flu is the new snow day.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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