I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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