in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
