Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
