honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
