I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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