She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
