So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
