At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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