I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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