Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
