Plan B is the new Plan A
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
