i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize