i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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