there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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