I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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