at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
