So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
