That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize
