Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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