you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize