Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
