Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
