He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
