Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
