If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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