Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
