Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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