Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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