Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
