I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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