The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
