Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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