in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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