You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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