im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
