That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I think i got beer on your cat.
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