I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She needs sedatives and a leash
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
