Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
