"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Quick, to the slutcave!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
