on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
