he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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