In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
