omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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