He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
