M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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