Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
