Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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