Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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