8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize