I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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