Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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