he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Success! We fucked roommates!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
