Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
