I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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