and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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