super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
